It took a while for me to get back tinkering on this page…Well, ‘vrybody’s gotta do more stuff at times.
Weeks ago, I attended a wedding ceremony of one of my friends and fellow fangirl. It’s actually a first for me to attend a wedding outside Manila (that I needed to ride a plane…and those close to me just know my excitement on heading to airports :D) and a non-Catholic ceremony. Just a little revelation — I’m not a big fan of attending weddings. I have nothing against it okay?! It’s something to celebrate and be happy for. I guess I just don’t have the feels cause: 1). there are just some parts of ceremonies I feel should be excluded in the modern weddings now, 2). whether you are a guest or part of the entourage, it’s costly, and 3). it ain’t MY wedding (no further explanations on this).
I must admit, it came to a phase in my life that attending to those are just too cliche for me…AGAIN, LET’S STRESS THIS, IT’S ME…So instead of being the wedding bomber – slash – event spoiler (cause I feel forced attending to it), I would skip and make the couple enjoy their momentous event. But of course, as they say, it shall pass and it did.
One more thing that makes me cringe (a bit) at times in attending weddings are the folks or guests who make themselves feel they are the stars of the event, whereas, it should be the couple — THE BRIDE AND THE GROOM, right? After a couple of weddings I attended to, it’s about time I share some guests forget or intend to forget — the etiquette…
How should or what should a guest generally be like in weddings??? Here are just the basics:
1. Be punctual.
Yes, even if you are not part of the entourage, this should apply to you too, dear guest. Unless you were caught in an emergency (and I know we are all mature enough, who are reading this post, to understand what really falls under emergencies!), be there on time. If you think you can’t make it on time in the venue for the wedding ceremonies, then just go straight ahead instead to the reception. Don’t make a scene of being the only person standing and walking straight towards the vacant seats in the church. That should only be for the movies and telenovelas.
2. Follow the bride and groom’s request — THE DRESS CODE.
For the love of our Supreme Being and the couple to be wed, please wear what they request on the dress code for THEIR WEDDING. Unfortunately, this is one of the most common broken rules in a wedding. I’ve been attending weddings that mentions a thing or two of the requested dress code in the invitations, but still there are a handful who can’t comprehend — either they intentionally didn’t read the whole invite or intentionally wanted to show off.
Guys and gals, I understand it might end you stashing that wallet to buy for new clothes, but I think this ain’t a good excuse anymore. It’s just a matter of being resourceful and creative. I wan’t to share an example from the recent wedding I attended to. My friend required the guests a dress code. The moment I read that, I was like “WHY OF ALL KINDS OF REQUESTS?”. What was that? Hmmm…something that I’m not used to or even my friends aren’t used to seeing me wear it — NO PRINTS. For my family, friends and colleagues, I’m more of a person who wears prints and bright colors, especially for dresses. But for the love and support for the newly weds, I just worked my ways to find a dress following their dress code (but still to make me fashionably ok) with less than 1500PHP. I just said to myself, I am sure they had reasons for it. And true enough, they did because their entourage were dressed with prints. Good thing, I followed.
Ok, there won’t be a fine or fee if you don’t follow. But following doesn’t just make you show your love and support for the couple you are gonna attend to, it also shows how you as a person follow or understand instructions (gamit gamit lang ng brain minsan ^_^).
3. The one thing majority of Pinoys still don’t abide to — Call or Inform for RSVP!
Seriously…majority of Filipinos don’t give a damn of a few minutes to notice and to act on this part in an invitation. It’s as if a part of their eyes were closed or their hands covered this.
For the benefit of everyone, RSVP is a abbreviation in French for “respondez s’il vous plait” (“please respond” in English). When a wedding invitation indicates this with a contact number, it means please take a few minutes of your time to confirm that you are attending the wedding. Does it matter??? HELL, YES!!! Why??? Let me tell you.
Gone are the days when the couples and their parents invite almost anybody their eyes would see or neighbors they even haven’t had a close encounter with to celebrate with them. Nowadays, it is costly to have a decent church wedding (majority of my wed friends can attest to this) unless you have super major sponsors or you are uber rich. Couples now limit the number of guests to close relatives and friends. Confirming that you will attend not only will help them budget their wedding well, but also is a sign of RESPECT to the couple that you wouldn’t drag other people along to add up to their cost.
The last one I said is the one that annoys me in wedding events. I mean, ok, you should be generous to share your joys to other people. But c’mon, let’s not abuse the fact we are invited to drag along folks. The next time you see an RSVP with a contact number in a wedding invitation, PLS RESPOND AND CALL THEM…
4. Respect the wedding ceremony by simply being silent.
I’m sure we are not enclosed to having friends with the same religion as ours. There will come a time we will be invited in a wedding ceremony of a different religion. That doesn’t give us an excuse not to be a chatterbox or do other stuff to kill time and boredom in ceremonies.
Again, respect their way of doing union for the bride and groom…How? Keep quiet if you can’t relate. Pray in silence for the couple, as simple as that. Well, you wouldn’t want your friends to make a scene in your own wedding too, right?
5. Eat decently…regardless.
Should I seriously elaborate on this? Hell no…Maybe a few simple statements — Fall in line properly if required. Don’t eat in a manner as if there’s no tomorrow, so others can eat too (every guest deserves it, right?). Well, I haven’t attended a wedding that caused mayhem when it comes to eating. But, there are just some guests whom you would see their attitude and level of thinking in a matter of minutes, by simply being impatient to get their food and eat or by simply piling up all food in their plate like the Tower of Pisa. Ok, I would understand if the ceremony is held in provinces cause there are some wed couples who intend to invite the whole village. But if in a hotel or a classy venue or resto? Hmm…some reality checks, please.
Sad to say, if people get used to certain behaviors, this might not be easy. But if we try to tweak those actions one wedding at a time, the actions will eventually lead to good habits. I hope in the next wedding ceremonies you will attend to, one or two of these might help. It doesn’t require a college degree to be of proper etiquette in events like these, self control and discipline will simply do.
Who knows, you who’s reading this post might bump into me in one of the wedding events I will attend to, or perhaps, in my own wedding? ^_^